Let There Be Light! and internet, and phones, etc......

Praise the Lord!  Our electricity came on last night right before midnight, after approximately 12 hours without it.  Thankfully, we had an old-fashioned dial-up phone hanging out in the back room, and flashlights and an electric camping lantern, battery-powered laptop to watch a movie on, and a little charge left on our cell phones.  And, best of all, wonderful neighbors who took our frozen and other foods into their own refrigerator/freezer.  Seems like all our neighbors on our cul-de-sac, except the one directly east, had electricity.  We were apparently on the edge of a major outage east of us. 

But all is good now.  Didn't get cold, or run out of hot water, or anything serious.  God is taking care of us.  Am going moment by moment here, trying to find something to eat now and then that doesn't nauseate me.  Tortilla chips, home-cooked beans, tomatoes, and avocadoes has been a major success, but only at certain times of the day.  Nibbling on thinly sliced apples right now.  So far so good with them.  Just can't do very much at once.

This is hard, but I have to say, God is Good.  I feel like such a wimp sometimes, because I know many have gone through so much worse than I am going through.  But my sweet friend, who's going through her own trials, responded to my text with, "I don't see a wimp in you at all!  You're strong and an inspiration to me."  Thank you, sweet friend, you made me smile.

There really is a lot to smile about.  The skies are blue today, instead of gray with dust and high winds.  (thought a tornado was blowing through here yesterday; wonder about the stories behind all the power outages).  Got a little bit of moisture from the snow last night, and it is already mostly soaked into the thirsty ground.  My beautiful daughter is taking excellent care of me.  And my other beautiful daughter is doing God's work, and having fun, on her mission trip.  Keep Steve in prayer as he is traveling this week.  He needs to focus on his work right now -- I am in good hands here. 

Time to go for now.  Trying to keep these posts shorter rather than longer.  :)

My heartfelt love and thanks to you all for your love and prayers.  You know I pray for you too, and thank my God for you always.

Caroline  ♥

Here We Go.....

The chemo is doing its thing, and I've been fighting nausea (thank you God for medications) and stomach pains today.  A little dry heaves too.  I know this isn't as bad as it could be.  I know God is helping me too, because He promised me in His Word.  But it's still yuck.  Please pray for me!  Ease of symptoms, and peace that passes understanding.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Caroline ♥

Last Week's Happenings & Things to Come (long post)

Hi Everyone,

Sorry it's been so long since my last post.  I've been wanting to get it done for several days, and even started a couple of times, but then just got distracted, ran out of of energy, or something!  Anyways, I just did it again!  Wrote 2 sentences and then got distracted with other things: Facebook, phone calls, etc.  Aargh!  So...I will try to focus on this now for longer than 2 minutes.  This will be a long post, I suspect.  Don't mean to bore anyone, but I want this for documentation for myself later, because I know I will forget details... :)  I know some of you will be interested, since I haven't been communicating very much with you - sorry!  I hope you will keep reading until the end because there is some important info there about the upcoming weeks and I will be needing your wonderful prayers -- VERY MUCH!

Just realized my last post was 10 days ago.  Steve wrote the most recent post 8 days ago.  At that time I had just had the "chemo port" installed and we had (at my request) just postponed the start of the chemo treatments for 6 days, from March 9 to March 15.  (Yes, that was yesterday!)  It was hard to do because we also learned that day that my CT scan the day before showed the cancer was on the outside of my liver and other surrounding areas.  The doctor agreed to wait, but only 1 week.

I was feeling run down and the insertion site for the port was still raw and sore.  I just needed more time to heal and get stronger, and I am so thankful for that extra time.

So the week went pretty well.  I was taking medications which made me feel better, but then because I was feeling okay, I would over-do things and feel more poorly in the evenings.  I (pretty much) learned to stop that, would force myself to take naps, and that helped a bit.

What I didn't realize was that I was running out of my most potent medicine.  If I hadn't have postponed my chemo for 6 days I wouldn't have run out.  And there was no refill on this particular drug since it is a controlled med.  So the DAY BEFORE my chemo, I realized I had 2 pills.  No problem, I thought, I will call the physician's assistant and get a prescription renewal.  I took one in the morning, called the hospital, could only get through to a person who told me there was a 24 to 48 hour advance notice required to get a renewal.  I begged them to try to get it earlier than that.  They said they would try.  Waited for a phone call.  I held onto that last "golden pill" and took Tylenol and Ibuprofen, which weren't as effective.  Called the hospital later in the afternoon, left a message, never heard anything back, so resigned myself to the fact that there would be no more of those wonderful pills.

I had wanted to go into chemo feeling well, and now I was stressing.  I didn't want to take my last pill until right before bedtime, but I was feeling worse and worse.  (I realized later that I was probably experiencing withdrawal symptoms from that potent drug - yikes!)  I just wanted to cry!  I sent out a cryptic prayer request on Facebook (no details, just PRAY!), and immediately started receiving responses.  This was sometime before 8 p.m.  It was amazing!  I didn't take my pill until 10:30 p.m., but I started feeling better way before then.  Once again, (no surprise!) God heard and answered all the wonderful prayers of my wonderful, faithful friends and family.  He is so AWESOME!  I love Him!  And I love you guys too.  ☺

As I mentioned on Facebook, I got decent sleep and in the morning we headed to the UNM Cancer Center.  Got there at 8 a.m.  There was a delay, but finally got my blood drawn (through my chemo port -- yay!  no pokes in my arm) after a while, and then went to my 9 a.m. appointment to see the doctor before the chemo.

All this time I was relying on my awesome God to help my Tylenol and anxiety medicine to control the pain, and He came through.  It wasn't the easiest, but it wasn't so bad.  I knew people were still praying and God was still answering.

Finally got up to the chemo suite and had to wait again!  It was a long time.  I'm not sure how long.  I sent some posts from my phone to Facebook, but they didn't go through, so I don't have a record of how long I waited, but eventually I got a chair in the suite, and some warm blankets.  Waited a little while, had consultation with the nurse, and finally the chemo could start.  Ate some lunch, and after a while was feeling nice and drowsy, thanks to the Benadryl they gave me.  I was feeling good.

Everything went very well.  Had a time period later on when I felt super irritable and my legs felt "antsy" and later a nurse told me it was probably due to the Benadryl wearing off.  But I got past that, with God's help.

Finally the chemo ended at about 6 p.m.  And finally we got home about 7 p.m.  I was so drowsy.  Was on the couch, didn't want any dinner.  Steve told me just go to bed!  So I did, after taking my nausea medicine as directed, and also one of my new prescription of pain pills (yay!)  I slept really well.

I am now trying to be careful with those more potent pain pills.  I do NOT want to experience any more withdrawal symptoms!  That was awful.  I am taking nausea pills every 8 hours, and this is actually a preventive step, because the nausea and bad side effects are not expected to happen for several days.  But hopefully they will be less because of the medicine I'm taking now.

As I mentioned on Facebook, I should expect to feel effects probably around the middle of next week.  I just hope and pray they are not too awful.  I should lose my hair also.  As my immune system takes a downslide, I should experience the worst of the side effects (nausea, metallic taste in my mouth, possible mouth sores, numbness and tingling in my hands and feet) between 6 to 10 days after treatment, and then I should get better and then I will have treatment #2 three weeks afer the first treatment (that would be April 5).  Each treatment will be about 6 hours long, and there should be 7 treatments total if I remember correctly.  I will have to be very careful about not catching any germs during those times when my immune system is the most suppressed.

Oh, yeah, the effects of the chemo drugs are cumulative so the last 3 treatments should be harder than the first 3.  I will definitely need LOTS of prayer.  So I thank you (and God) in advance.  I know there is POWER in prayer, and it comes from my faithful, awesome, loving, merciful, beautiful, gracious, trustworthy, and praiseworthy Savior, Lord, and King.  I am amazed at how much He loves me and helps me.  I give Him ALL the glory.

I thank you all.  I love you all.  May God bless you all.
Caroline ♥
(I'm tired; need a nap)

Complicated situation

This is coming from Steve. Please forgive my writing style and and lack of continuity that you will find in Caroline's fine writing style.

It's not easy to determine what is best for general consumption and publication. Should we tell everything, the good, the not so good, the bad? Should we limit it to positive thinking? Should we only post the facts and leave it at that? Well, we have determined that it's best just to be open and honest with you all. We don't want to hide anything from anybody but we also don't want to be a downer either. But the fact is that Caroline has an aggressive cancer in her body right now as I type. It's an ugly fact in our lives right now. As we tell you about these things please respond with prayer. Tell God how much we humans need his help to overcome this sickness. We also feel that by being open with everyone that this will help you to know what to pray for and understand Caroline's situation. We do believe that if it His will that Caroline will be totally healed of this disease, not just remission, but true healing.

Yesterday the "Port" was put in just below Caroline's collar bone. Listening to the doctors talk about this procedure you would think we were going in for a routine oil change. However, the reality is that it's not routine for the human body. The surgery set Caroline back a bit with some new pains to try to mask with medications. It's just not routine!

We had a pre-chemo meeting with the doctor today. As you may know the plan was to start chemo tomorrow but given the setback with the port we are now looking at starting next Thursday. On Tuesday a CT Scan was done to get a base line for cancer growth. We received the results today. This is not the news we were wanting to share with you. But again to be open and honest... there is "borderline - mild adenopathy" (enlarged lymph node) near the sternum and suspected cancer in a few places on the liver. All of this may have existed before the surgery but we don't know that for certain because the same type of CT scan (with contrast) was not done a few weeks ago so these may have gone previously undetected. On the bright side the level of the cancer marker, CA 125, which was once 120 is now 53. A normal level is about 30. We are headed in the right direction. Praise God!

You can all do research on the cancer. You will soon find it's an ugly one and one that likes to travel throughout the body. We are struggling with what treatment to use. Nobody can make a decision about the right treatment without standing in the door and facing it yourself. I think it's akin to someone without kids trying to give advice to parents. And not only that but no two people are alike and no two cancers are alike. There is no flowchart to look at. There just isn't an easy answer.

We have determined that we want and intend that God be glorified in this process. That sure sounds good doesn't it? Now put it into practice or as a good friend puts it, "now put shoes on it..." How do we glorify God in this process? How do we know which is the right treatment when facing a disease with an 85-95% 5-year failure rate using the best of modern medicine and the track record for natural treatments is unknown and not tracked, except for anecdotal evidence. Like I said, do your research. You won't like what you see. So coming back around, we want to glorify God regardless of the outcome. We want to know God's will and put Caroline in God's hands so that he is glorified. If it means to put Caroline in the hands of the brains of the many smart people who have developed and now provide treatments using a caustic drug combination of Platinum and Taxol, that's cool we are good with that. If it's to use a natural approach we are good with that. Or do we do both? Our dilemma at this time is that we really really are not convinced one is better than the other. Both sides present good arguments. Maybe it's both I don't' know and I don't think you can convince me one over the other. But.....

My whole point of the last paragraph is to ask God to cleanse your hearts (see James 5:16) as we solicit your humble yet powerful prayers to the one and only God that put over 100s of billions of galaxies in motion and designed and then created our exceedingly complex bodies together. We ask for prayers of peace that surpasses all human understanding and a wisdom to determine the best treatment(s). You, working together with us, and all of us working together with God I think we have a good shot at this. Caroline and I both think and believe that the key is glorifying God in this process. We don't know the outcome but God's thoughts and ways are higher than ours ever could be. See Isaiah 55:8. Who better to place our trust in. This is serious business.

Busy Start to a Busy Week

Hi everyone,

Some of you may have read some of this on a group text I sent out earlier, but my phone is having issues with storage space and I don't know who got what.  Figured this blog is the best place to make updates, and hopefully most of my friends and family will get in the habit of checking here.  You can subscribe to get email notifications if that makes it easier. :)

So this morning started early.  Woke up at 2 to take some meds, then could not go back to sleep.  After a couple of hours, I got online (nothing much happening at that hour), chatted with another early riser for a few minutes, disturbed Steve, turned off the computer, then slept/rested a little bit more until we had to get up to head for the hospital and school.

Steve dropped me off at the UNM Cancer Center at about 7:20 or so, and headed to Corrales with Naomi.  I checked in (early), finished drinking my 24 oz. of water at about 7:45 or so, right as they called my name.  The girl, Jenny, was awesome.  She talked with me, put an IV in my arm (almost painlessly), put the iodine dye in my veins (weird feeling but not horrible), and did the CT scan.  I think I was out of there by 8:05.  And of course Steve was not back from Corrales yet.  So I hung out in the waiting room for a while.

Had had nothing to eat that morning, so we had to get something before the Q&A session at 9:30 with the physician's assistant (PA).  Went to Whole Foods and got a small amount of fresh fruit (should have got more) and took some meds with it.  Was feeling decent, but drowsy, during the meeting.  The PA took her time with us; we had a lot of questions.  Then we met up with the patient navigator, who took us on a tour of the chemo suite on the 4th floor.  They really do try to make you as comfortable as possible there.  Was very helpful to me to know what to expect on Friday.

Decided to get some blood drawn today instead of on Thursday, so maybe we would have the CA-125 marker level information by then.  That will provide a baseline for future blood tests, to see how effective the treatments are.  The CT scan I had done today will do the same thing -- provide a baseline.  Not sure when the results of that will be available -- I would hope by Thursday when I meet with the doctor.

So tomorrow (Wednesday) I get the chemo port put in.  I should be out for that, and a bit "loopy" afterwards.  I believe they will "install" it right below my collarbone on the right side of my chest.  My meds and chemo will be able to be administered through the port, and blood can be drawn through it also.  No more needle pokes in my arms!!

So, yes, I am going to the cancer center/hospital 4 DAYS this week.  Yuk.  Was going to have the chemo Thursday, after the doctor consultation, but they rescheduled to Friday, which sounds like it could be less hectic.  As long as I don't hear any word that the doctor wants it on Thursday (she is not there on Fridays), it will be on Friday.  But future treatments, every 3 weeks, will be on Thursdays.

Treatments should last about 6 hours.  So I will be in the chemo suite, in a comfortable chair, with big windows, with the stuff dripping into my port, all that time.  Have to bring food, and stuff to keep my mind occupied.  Will be a long day Friday.  But I shouldn't have any side effects -- yet!  They will kick in later.  Have to take my meds before they kick in to minimize any effects.  I know you all will be praying for me and I will need it.

I will lose my hair, so need to cut it before then......

I am very tired now.  My gut's been acting up, with all the activity today, and although it is good that it is "working" a bit better than it has been, it also kind of hurts.  Hope to get this all under control and get a good night's sleep.  That will help a lot.  Especially since I can't have anything to eat again in the morning, and my procedure is at 9 a.m.

Please PRAY.  It REALLY helps.  God loves to answer your prayers!!  He is so Faithful and True and Good and Awesome and Loving and Merciful and Trustworthy and Praiseworthy.  So let us PRAISE Him and give Him all the glory.

Gotta go now.  I'm beat.  I (or someone) will let you know how it goes.  Stay tuned.....

Caroline  ♥

CT Scan Tuesday

Tomorrow morning I am scheduled for a CT scan.  Pray for it to show no new tumors/spots since the surgery.  The doctor wants to start chemo this week, but pray with me that either I will be strong enough or the doctor will agree to give me a little more time to get stronger.  It is so hard to eat well and take those nasty-tasting nutrients when you feel nauseated or are in pain.  My intestines seem to be taking a long time to heal from the colon re-sectioning.  But my scar is healing nicely and I have more energy overall.  Just the digestion thing is not working so great -- and that's so important in getting stronger......

Thanks for your love and prayers, everyone.  I love you all.  Caroline ©

Balancing Act

Balance is so important, and so difficult to achieve sometimes!  It's especially important when you're sick, right?  The devil throws stuff at you and before you realize it you are stressing over stuff which it seems no one else can take care of but you.  That's when God has to step in and remind you: Give it to Me, Let others handle it, Get some rest.  Oh, how hard that is to do.

Things are coming together for Naomi's mission trip.  Lot of stressing going on last night, but it's all good now.  God has our backs!

Thank you, Lord, for taking care of things.  Yes, we have to do our part it seems, but help us to remember to relax a bit more in the process.   All my love, Caroline

My First Post

Very first post on my very first blog.  So much to say, where do I start?  Well, as the blog description says I've recently been diagnosed with uterine cancer.  And not a simple one either -- it would have to be a rare, highly aggressive cancer.  Surprising to us all (even to the doctor), but not to our sovereign God.  He knows all about it, has allowed it, and will see me through this.  I put my trust in Him.

So much has already happened since my first doctor checkup on January 17, 2012.  Had major "debulking" surgery on February 8, in which the doctor removed every speck of cancer she could see, and took out about 1/3 of my colon.  Recovery has been difficult, but God is so good, and I know He is holding me.  I don't know how people go through this type of stuff without Him -- truly.

More later......  Caroline ♥