Thursday, March 8, 2012

Complicated situation

This is coming from Steve. Please forgive my writing style and and lack of continuity that you will find in Caroline's fine writing style.

It's not easy to determine what is best for general consumption and publication. Should we tell everything, the good, the not so good, the bad? Should we limit it to positive thinking? Should we only post the facts and leave it at that? Well, we have determined that it's best just to be open and honest with you all. We don't want to hide anything from anybody but we also don't want to be a downer either. But the fact is that Caroline has an aggressive cancer in her body right now as I type. It's an ugly fact in our lives right now. As we tell you about these things please respond with prayer. Tell God how much we humans need his help to overcome this sickness. We also feel that by being open with everyone that this will help you to know what to pray for and understand Caroline's situation. We do believe that if it His will that Caroline will be totally healed of this disease, not just remission, but true healing.

Yesterday the "Port" was put in just below Caroline's collar bone. Listening to the doctors talk about this procedure you would think we were going in for a routine oil change. However, the reality is that it's not routine for the human body. The surgery set Caroline back a bit with some new pains to try to mask with medications. It's just not routine!

We had a pre-chemo meeting with the doctor today. As you may know the plan was to start chemo tomorrow but given the setback with the port we are now looking at starting next Thursday. On Tuesday a CT Scan was done to get a base line for cancer growth. We received the results today. This is not the news we were wanting to share with you. But again to be open and honest... there is "borderline - mild adenopathy" (enlarged lymph node) near the sternum and suspected cancer in a few places on the liver. All of this may have existed before the surgery but we don't know that for certain because the same type of CT scan (with contrast) was not done a few weeks ago so these may have gone previously undetected. On the bright side the level of the cancer marker, CA 125, which was once 120 is now 53. A normal level is about 30. We are headed in the right direction. Praise God!

You can all do research on the cancer. You will soon find it's an ugly one and one that likes to travel throughout the body. We are struggling with what treatment to use. Nobody can make a decision about the right treatment without standing in the door and facing it yourself. I think it's akin to someone without kids trying to give advice to parents. And not only that but no two people are alike and no two cancers are alike. There is no flowchart to look at. There just isn't an easy answer.

We have determined that we want and intend that God be glorified in this process. That sure sounds good doesn't it? Now put it into practice or as a good friend puts it, "now put shoes on it..." How do we glorify God in this process? How do we know which is the right treatment when facing a disease with an 85-95% 5-year failure rate using the best of modern medicine and the track record for natural treatments is unknown and not tracked, except for anecdotal evidence. Like I said, do your research. You won't like what you see. So coming back around, we want to glorify God regardless of the outcome. We want to know God's will and put Caroline in God's hands so that he is glorified. If it means to put Caroline in the hands of the brains of the many smart people who have developed and now provide treatments using a caustic drug combination of Platinum and Taxol, that's cool we are good with that. If it's to use a natural approach we are good with that. Or do we do both? Our dilemma at this time is that we really really are not convinced one is better than the other. Both sides present good arguments. Maybe it's both I don't' know and I don't think you can convince me one over the other. But.....

My whole point of the last paragraph is to ask God to cleanse your hearts (see James 5:16) as we solicit your humble yet powerful prayers to the one and only God that put over 100s of billions of galaxies in motion and designed and then created our exceedingly complex bodies together. We ask for prayers of peace that surpasses all human understanding and a wisdom to determine the best treatment(s). You, working together with us, and all of us working together with God I think we have a good shot at this. Caroline and I both think and believe that the key is glorifying God in this process. We don't know the outcome but God's thoughts and ways are higher than ours ever could be. See Isaiah 55:8. Who better to place our trust in. This is serious business.



11 comments:

J said...

I love you so very much. I will pray exactly that. He can do absolutely anything and by any means. I pray that you have supernatural peace that makes no earthly sense. That you are so aware of His am,azing love for you, you can touch it, and you are led in His unmistakable wisdom. May He comfort you, and hold you in His hands & overwhelm you with His care as your heavenly father. <3 You all. My heart overflows with love & continual prayers for you. <3 Jeannette

lralph42 said...

Our love, thoughts,and many,many prayers are with all of you during this rough time in your lives. Please know we are a phone call away if you need to talk.

~marci~ said...

You put to words very well the dilema and choices we have with cancer. May God continue to grant you His peace that passes understanding. You are prayed over much every single day. We love you, but God loves you more. Continue to trust His heart.

Caroline said...

Thank you, Jeannette, Lori, and Marci -- I love you guys! I cried a lot yesterday, but it was cleansing. God is still my shield and my fortress, my rock and my deliverer. I continue to put my trust in Him.

Thank you, everyone, for your loving prayers. "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man [woman] availeth much." (James 5:16) and "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." (Matthew 18:20)

Praising Him In All Things, ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Caroline ♥

Unknown said...

I'm not of your faith, and I don't even know what it is, but I also believe that God can do anything (I am, in fact, converting to Judaism this year).

My only connection with your family is that I once had an amazingly cool boss named Steve - that's it. But I've never met a finer human being or family. I really think that if anyone is doing it right on this earth, that it's you guys.

So, I send you my prayers, and love and light and goodness, but I also want to send you something specific from me. Laughter. With all the unbelievably serious stuff going on in your lives, I hope you will take a little time to contemplate beauty, and to enjoy some raucous, uproarious, healing laughter. All love to your family. ~ Rose

Caroline said...

Thank you, Rose. That means a lot to me. You're a sweet person. I agree with you about beauty and laughter -- that's what God intends for us -- everything good. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11) We know this sin-filled earth is not our final home, and I am so joyful at God's beautiful promise that "... God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4).

Unknown said...

Beautiful!

Judy Weigelt said...

Hi Caroline, My name is Judy Damon Weigelt,Aunt Wanda was my mother. Cousin Pat let me know about your cancer and sent me your blogs.
I want you to know that I will be praying for you. He is able to do abundantly above what we could ask or think. Whatever the outcome, God will be able to bring you through. I will also ask my friends to put you on their prayer list. Several of my Bible Study Group have had breast cancer. One of my friends found out she had agressive breast cancer and God has been near to her and He will be with your. God is so great. She had chemo for weeks and then surgery now she will have six weeks of radiation in Mayo.
I will be following your blog so I will know how to pray for you.
Love and prayers, Your cousin Judy
l

Caroline said...

Hi Judy,
Thank you so much for your love and prayers and please tell your friends thank you also. It seems cancer is all around us and among us. It's true that God draws us close and it's a wonderful place to be, nestled in His loving, strong arms. I've found there's nothing like singing the old hymns for special comfort and pain release. Am so blessed to have so many friends and family members loving me and praying for me. Blessings to you and yours, Judy. Love, Caroline ♥

Anonymous said...

This is Joe Morrato. Steve, I read your original post titled complicated situation. My heart goes out to your family. I wanted to assure you guys of a couple of things:
1. When I had cancer, I faced a similar dilemma (although not nearly as serious as yours, Caroline). There are pros and cons to any path you take. If it's too difficult to decide using human deduction, ask God for the supernatural wisdom needed to make such a critical decision. God is the ultimate healer, whether He uses chemotherapy, natural medicine,or an outright healing miracle. Do not question for a moment whether it is God's will that you be healed, Caroline. It is His will! He is our loving father; and a loving Father would never will for a wonderful child like you to suffer. What we don't know is what form His healing will take. The Godhead is especially fond of you guys; and He would never bring you harm. Any and all bed things in your life come from one source - satan. Our God wants nothing but the best for us. I know you are trusting Him like you never have before.
2. Don't worry about whether or not you are glorifying God. Your declared desire to do so in this trying time is already glorifying Him. Many in your position would already be cursing God for the circumstances you face. But not you! You are throwing everything you have at God; and He will honor you for it! I am blessed by your steadfastness.
May God send his grace, peace and healing on you without measure as He carries your family through this trial.

Caroline said...

Was just re-reading these comments. Thank you, Joe, for sharing your thoughts and insights. You are a blessing and I pray the Lord's continued protection and blessings upon you. Love you guys, Caroline