Latest Happenings

Hello there, my wonderful friends and family!

Past time for another update, I think.  :-)

Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing well.  I am so blessed and God is so good.  I have very little physical pain.  Anything I do have I think qualifies more as discomfort than pain -- irritable legs and feet in the evenings, and --ugh! (the worst) -- hot flashes night and day!  They are awful.  My body temperature goes from hot to cold and back again quite frequently.  It is so frustrating.  And at night time it is more than frustrating -- it can be tear-inducing -- as I toss and turn and toss and turn.  I am using low-dose estrogen patches which the doctor reluctantly prescribed, so I guess it would be worse if I didn't have that!  Talked with the doctor about it when I went for my last chemo treatment, and she said she didn't want me to have anything stronger, PLUS she wasn't going to continue the patches after the chemo treatments were finished.  Too risky I guess.  Oh...no....  I am trying not to think about what life might be like then.  It is already so hard now; getting so little sleep!  God must be sustaining me through the days and giving me energy.  Please pray for me about this, that my body can make adjustments and the hot flashes can go away soon!

I praise God that the chemo effects I experience are so minor though, especially when I know others have it so much worse.  I have seen some patients at the cancer center curled up in pain or throwing up into a trashcan.  Yes, I am blessed.

I am still experiencing what I call "emotional" or "mental" pain -- the weepiness I spoke of earlier.  And it is not easy.  But praise the Lord, I recently had a couple of days with very little of it, which gives me hope.  Last Sabbath I was feeling very well and was able to attend an anointing service for a dear friend after church services.  I didn't attend church, but later thought that I could have.  I had not had any medications since 9 pm the previous night, and my head felt so clear and my energy level was good.  I was so happy.  That night things caught up to me a little, and I did have irritable legs and feet and did end up taking something to help me relax.

Sunday was a good day too.  Steve's co-worker and his girlfriend (will call her L) came over to visit.  L is very knowledgeable about natural remedies, such as herbs and such.  We had a very nice visit, and I asked her about this Chinese root with anti-cancer properties which my mom had just read about on the internet.  L highly recommended it, so I think I will try some.  I didn't realize she was also trained in acupuncture and she offered to do a treatment on me.  I wasn't sure what to think about it, but Steve and I were curious.  I know it's associated with "New Age" thinking, but not sure if that makes it bad.  There are so many things we don't know about the human body, and acupuncture has been around for thousands of years -- there must be something to it.  Well, I agreed to let her treat me, praying to God to be with me.  It didn't hurt, and I just tried to relax.  Can't say that I felt significantly better or worse afterwards; she had said that might be the case.  Very interesting experience though.  Makes me wonder if there is anything to it physically, and if it really physically helps people, or if it is more of a spiritual thing.  Yes, there is so much we don't know about our bodies, but I do know that they are wonderfully and fearfully made!  Praise the Lord!

So Sunday was another drug-free day; I felt pretty good.  But again in the evening I felt tired and a bit anxious.  I took an anxiety pill I think, no pain pills, wanting to avoid the drugs as much as possible, and not use them in the wrong way.  But sleep did not come easy.  Hot flashes took over that night and I was awake so much.  Very little sleep.

Well, then came Monday... Caley was packing to leave.  Oh, the emotions rising inside of me.  So hard!  And on Tuesday she actually left...  I am happy for her and proud of her.  She is going to lead out in the colporteur program this summer -- the same program she was a trainee in last summer.  She loves going door-to-door, meeting people, and selling Godly books and materials.  That kind of job is not for everyone, but she loves it.  So amazing that my shy little girl enjoys knocking on strangers' doors.  God can change anything!  :-)  Please pray for her success and safety this summer as she works for the Lord.  May she and the students have extra angels attending them.

Oh, but how I miss her already!  Had done a lot of housework Tuesday (yesterday) after she left to help keep my mind off of it.  And I did okay, until later when I was too tired to do any more, and I had to sit still.  Started to think (big mistake) and cry a lot.  I cried out to God to help me, but still couldn't stop.  Steve and Naomi tried to comfort me.  I was so tired, and it was getting late.  Finally I asked them to let me be alone.  I had wanted to avoid taking any pills, but finally took a pain pill and an anxiety pill together.  As I lay there I focused on deep breathing, and very soon I stopped crying and started to relax.   I slept better than I had the night before, although I still woke up a bit.  Am so thankful for the sleep.  Am thinking God doesn't always do drugless miracles like I'd like Him to; sometimes He uses doctors and modern medicines.  I just pray He will keep my body safe from ill effects and help me to be able to do away with any kind of pills eventually.  Oh, I can't wait until these chemo treatments are all over, so I can move into the next phase of regaining my strength and health.

So now it is Naomi and me.  School's out and we get to spend more time together (yay!), and she is planning on doing more cooking and cleaning to help me, now that she has more time.  She has applied for some summer jobs, but has not heard back from anyone yet.  The Tijeras Library is her choice job -- hope she gets that one.

Happy news!  My mommy is coming to visit me!  She will be here in 3 days, arriving Saturday evening, and will stay for 12 days.  So she will be here during my 5th chemo treatment.  Am looking forward to spending more time with you, Mom.  You were such a blessing to us during your last visit, even though you didn't feel well.  Am glad you're feeling better this time and I know you will be a big help.

Too bad Mom can't stay through my 6th (and last) chemo.  Am hoping the effects of these next two treatments won't be any or much worse than the first four.  The doctor said to expect that they would, as effects are cumulative, but I'm hoping she's wrong.  Well, I know I have somehow made it this far, with God's help, and I will make it through the next two treatments and then I think the doctor will do a CT scan to check me out.  My hope and prayer is that the scan will be clear and I will be able to stop any more treatments and to get on with my healing and strength-building.

As always, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love and prayers and encouragement. Seems like I always receive a text, or facebook post, or card, or phone call just when I need them most.  Sometimes they bring on a bout of crying, as I get emotional over how blessed I am.  But they are always a good thing.  May God bless you all.  I love you bunches!

Caroline ©

Great News!

Had chemo treatment #4 yesterday and all went well.  (Have decided to forego the Benadryl next time though as it gives me restless leg syndrome and the nurse said that at this point I am highly unlikely to have an allergic reaction to the chemo drugs.)

Feeling good so far, but that is normal for day 2.  Chemo effects will probably kick in tonight or tomorrow.  (Thank you for your prayers!)  EDIT:  Stomach just started hurting right after I posted this!  Not sure why -- hope it's not the chemo kicking in so early!

The BEST news is that I got my bloodwork results and my CA125 (Cancer Antigen 125) level is now within "normal" range.  Before my surgery it was 120, right before treatment #2 it was 109, right before treatment #3 it was 50, and right before this last treatment it was 11!

Praise God!  The CA125 is not a perfect indicator, but a very good indicator that my chemotherapy treatments are working.  My doctor was VERY happy, and so are we!

Jesus is so kind and loving and merciful and awesome and trustworthy and praiseworthy.  I praise You and thank You, my Lord and Savior, my wonderful God, for all You have done and are doing in my life.  I Love You!

And, as always, thank you my friends and family for your love and prayers.  You lift me up and I love you, too!

Caroline

Happy Weekend... but Crybaby Blues

Yes, I'm still here!  Thanks so much for stopping by to check on me.  I hope each of you are doing well and being blessed and feeling God's love and joy.

Just wanted to let everyone know the latest happenings.  I was very blessed this past weekend with visits from my sister Angie and her husband Bob.  It was so good to see them.  They kept my mind off my self and my spirits up.  Brought me some beautiful yellow roses too.  Thank you, guys!  Love you!  Also thanks to my church family for my pretty red rose on Mother's Day Sabbath, even though I didn't make it to church (or to the pancake brunch on Sunday).  And thank you to Caley's friend Rob who brought me some really pretty flowers and a sweet card.  My husband and girls also gave me lovely cards that made me cry.  I am so blessed!  Caley was gone for the weekend, but came home from Arizona late Sunday, so that was a wonderful way to end Mother's Day, with my family all together again.

Well, chemo is coming up on Thursday -- Round 4 out of 6, moving right along.  Please continue to pray for minimal side effects from the coming chemo, and also for my current issues.  I am torn between trying not to take very many meds and wanting to do something to help my anxiety and "weepiness."  The meds don't seem to help that well anyway, so I have been trying to go without them except in the evening.  But I am so weepy!  I can't stand it, but can't seem to help it.  I cry at sad thoughts and at happy thoughts.  I get restless legs/feet in the evenings, and cry about that!  I think lack of enough sleep doesn't help.

It helps to have something to do.  I didn't cry when Angie and Bob were around.  Had digestive issues, but my sister is family and understood what I was going through, and somehow I just determined to deal with my "gut" and and enjoy their visits.  But afterwards, alone with my own family, I was back to crying.  My family is so good about it (I love you guys so much!), but I want to stop the crying! It's better when I have a project or some housework to do, but my energy is low and so I tire easily, so that doesn't last long!  It would probably help if I got out of this house and did something, but that has been difficult lately with my digestive problems.

I pray and cry out to Jesus when I feel weepy, and try to think of all my blessings and praise Him and thank Him.  After all, if I'm going to cry I don't want to be negative about it! ha ha.  And it does help.  I believe He shortens my crying bouts.  But I still keep struggling with them.

Speaking of counting my blessings, I want to say that my husband and girls are the most wonderful family I could ask for.  They stand by me and help me in so many ways.  They are such a comfort.  I love you so much, my wonderful family.  (oh no, I am starting to cry)

So... I ask you to pray for me.  I suspect it's hormone issues.  Or it could be the chemo, or both.  I will be asking the doctor for help when I see her this week.  The anxiety meds don't really help, the sleeping meds don't really help (only for a few hours).  Maybe my hormone patches aren't strong enough.  I just want something that helps!

I thank you so much for your love and prayers.  Even while I cry, I know I am blessed.  I know there are so many people out there who suffer more than I do.  Things could be so much worse.  And so I rejoice in my God, who is constantly blessing me and in my friends and family who love and pray for me.  I love you all and pray for you too!
♥ Caroline

A Night Out

Hi Everyone!  I know it's been a while since I posted on here.  Got a new picture, courtesy of my friend Diann, so thought I'd "borrow" it and post it up here.  :)  Thanks so much, Diann.  ;-)

Last night I made it to Naomi's school play!  Yay!  Wasn't sure I was going to be able to, due to digestive issues, but we prayed, and God blessed, and I made it, and I'm so glad I did!

The play was wonderful!  It was called "Count the Stars," and was about Abraham's struggle to follow God's leading.  The beautiful and talented Naomi played Abraham's wife, Sarah.  Naomi, you make a beautiful old lady, and with the baby powder in your hair, you smelled great too.  ha ha.  :D

I must say ALL the students did great!  It was so enjoyable and well-done.  Naomi's best friend since childhood, Olivia (Diann's daughter), played Hagar, Sarah's adversary.  Wonderful interaction between the two of you, Naomi and Olivia!  You are both so beautiful and talented.  Love you!

Diann took the family picture of us after the play.  Thanks again, so much, Diann, and thanks for putting it on Facebook so I could "borrow" it!  Love you, too, my friend!

I've been doing okay since the chemo.  A bit lower energy and lower appetite this go-round.  (Think I've lost a few more pounds, which I really can't afford!)  Praise God the pain level has been very, very low. :D Going through a lot of emotional stuff though, crying very easily.  Although it is not physical, it is pain nonetheless, and I appreciate your prayers.  I want to get stronger in my faith and in my emotional state.  I understand the chemo can make some people this way, not to mention the "instant menopausal state" I've been thrown into because of my surgery.  It really helps to have something productive to do during the day, and on those days I do much better.  Watching TV or NetFlix movies isn't really that helpful -- just kind of mind-numbing and a temporary distraction.  It's hard when your energy level is so low, but it seems to be getting better, so I should be able to find more productive ways to spend my time.  Getting out of the house helps a lot, but sometimes I am at the mercy of my digestive system.  Let me just say short outings are the best for now.  It was a true blessing to be able to go to the play last night, it being so far away from home.  :D

I thank God for all my blessings -- they are so numerous!  He is so good to me.   I especially thank him for all of you, and for all the prayers going up on my behalf.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, my friends.  Love, love, love you all!

Caroline  ♥