Yes, I'm still here! Thanks so much for stopping by to check on me. I hope each of you are doing well and being blessed and feeling God's love and joy.
Just wanted to let everyone know the latest happenings. I was very blessed this past weekend with visits from my sister Angie and her husband Bob. It was so good to see them. They kept my mind off my self and my spirits up. Brought me some beautiful yellow roses too. Thank you, guys! Love you! Also thanks to my church family for my pretty red rose on Mother's Day Sabbath, even though I didn't make it to church (or to the pancake brunch on Sunday). And thank you to Caley's friend Rob who brought me some really pretty flowers and a sweet card. My husband and girls also gave me lovely cards that made me cry. I am so blessed! Caley was gone for the weekend, but came home from Arizona late Sunday, so that was a wonderful way to end Mother's Day, with my family all together again.
Well, chemo is coming up on Thursday -- Round 4 out of 6, moving right along. Please continue to pray for minimal side effects from the coming chemo, and also for my current issues. I am torn between trying not to take very many meds and wanting to do something to help my anxiety and "weepiness." The meds don't seem to help that well anyway, so I have been trying to go without them except in the evening. But I am so weepy! I can't stand it, but can't seem to help it. I cry at sad thoughts and at happy thoughts. I get restless legs/feet in the evenings, and cry about that! I think lack of enough sleep doesn't help.
It helps to have something to do. I didn't cry when Angie and Bob were around. Had digestive issues, but my sister is family and understood what I was going through, and somehow I just determined to deal with my "gut" and and enjoy their visits. But afterwards, alone with my own family, I was back to crying. My family is so good about it (I love you guys so much!), but I want to stop the crying! It's better when I have a project or some housework to do, but my energy is low and so I tire easily, so that doesn't last long! It would probably help if I got out of this house and did something, but that has been difficult lately with my digestive problems.
I pray and cry out to Jesus when I feel weepy, and try to think of all my blessings and praise Him and thank Him. After all, if I'm going to cry I don't want to be negative about it! ha ha. And it does help. I believe He shortens my crying bouts. But I still keep struggling with them.
Speaking of counting my blessings, I want to say that my husband and girls are the most wonderful family I could ask for. They stand by me and help me in so many ways. They are such a comfort. I love you so much, my wonderful family. (oh no, I am starting to cry)
So... I ask you to pray for me. I suspect it's hormone issues. Or it could be the chemo, or both. I will be asking the doctor for help when I see her this week. The anxiety meds don't really help, the sleeping meds don't really help (only for a few hours). Maybe my hormone patches aren't strong enough. I just want something that helps!
I thank you so much for your love and prayers. Even while I cry, I know I am blessed. I know there are so many people out there who suffer more than I do. Things could be so much worse. And so I rejoice in my God, who is constantly blessing me and in my friends and family who love and pray for me. I love you all and pray for you too!
♥ Caroline
