Happy Weekend... but Crybaby Blues

Yes, I'm still here!  Thanks so much for stopping by to check on me.  I hope each of you are doing well and being blessed and feeling God's love and joy.

Just wanted to let everyone know the latest happenings.  I was very blessed this past weekend with visits from my sister Angie and her husband Bob.  It was so good to see them.  They kept my mind off my self and my spirits up.  Brought me some beautiful yellow roses too.  Thank you, guys!  Love you!  Also thanks to my church family for my pretty red rose on Mother's Day Sabbath, even though I didn't make it to church (or to the pancake brunch on Sunday).  And thank you to Caley's friend Rob who brought me some really pretty flowers and a sweet card.  My husband and girls also gave me lovely cards that made me cry.  I am so blessed!  Caley was gone for the weekend, but came home from Arizona late Sunday, so that was a wonderful way to end Mother's Day, with my family all together again.

Well, chemo is coming up on Thursday -- Round 4 out of 6, moving right along.  Please continue to pray for minimal side effects from the coming chemo, and also for my current issues.  I am torn between trying not to take very many meds and wanting to do something to help my anxiety and "weepiness."  The meds don't seem to help that well anyway, so I have been trying to go without them except in the evening.  But I am so weepy!  I can't stand it, but can't seem to help it.  I cry at sad thoughts and at happy thoughts.  I get restless legs/feet in the evenings, and cry about that!  I think lack of enough sleep doesn't help.

It helps to have something to do.  I didn't cry when Angie and Bob were around.  Had digestive issues, but my sister is family and understood what I was going through, and somehow I just determined to deal with my "gut" and and enjoy their visits.  But afterwards, alone with my own family, I was back to crying.  My family is so good about it (I love you guys so much!), but I want to stop the crying! It's better when I have a project or some housework to do, but my energy is low and so I tire easily, so that doesn't last long!  It would probably help if I got out of this house and did something, but that has been difficult lately with my digestive problems.

I pray and cry out to Jesus when I feel weepy, and try to think of all my blessings and praise Him and thank Him.  After all, if I'm going to cry I don't want to be negative about it! ha ha.  And it does help.  I believe He shortens my crying bouts.  But I still keep struggling with them.

Speaking of counting my blessings, I want to say that my husband and girls are the most wonderful family I could ask for.  They stand by me and help me in so many ways.  They are such a comfort.  I love you so much, my wonderful family.  (oh no, I am starting to cry)

So... I ask you to pray for me.  I suspect it's hormone issues.  Or it could be the chemo, or both.  I will be asking the doctor for help when I see her this week.  The anxiety meds don't really help, the sleeping meds don't really help (only for a few hours).  Maybe my hormone patches aren't strong enough.  I just want something that helps!

I thank you so much for your love and prayers.  Even while I cry, I know I am blessed.  I know there are so many people out there who suffer more than I do.  Things could be so much worse.  And so I rejoice in my God, who is constantly blessing me and in my friends and family who love and pray for me.  I love you all and pray for you too!
♥ Caroline

A Night Out

Hi Everyone!  I know it's been a while since I posted on here.  Got a new picture, courtesy of my friend Diann, so thought I'd "borrow" it and post it up here.  :)  Thanks so much, Diann.  ;-)

Last night I made it to Naomi's school play!  Yay!  Wasn't sure I was going to be able to, due to digestive issues, but we prayed, and God blessed, and I made it, and I'm so glad I did!

The play was wonderful!  It was called "Count the Stars," and was about Abraham's struggle to follow God's leading.  The beautiful and talented Naomi played Abraham's wife, Sarah.  Naomi, you make a beautiful old lady, and with the baby powder in your hair, you smelled great too.  ha ha.  :D

I must say ALL the students did great!  It was so enjoyable and well-done.  Naomi's best friend since childhood, Olivia (Diann's daughter), played Hagar, Sarah's adversary.  Wonderful interaction between the two of you, Naomi and Olivia!  You are both so beautiful and talented.  Love you!

Diann took the family picture of us after the play.  Thanks again, so much, Diann, and thanks for putting it on Facebook so I could "borrow" it!  Love you, too, my friend!

I've been doing okay since the chemo.  A bit lower energy and lower appetite this go-round.  (Think I've lost a few more pounds, which I really can't afford!)  Praise God the pain level has been very, very low. :D Going through a lot of emotional stuff though, crying very easily.  Although it is not physical, it is pain nonetheless, and I appreciate your prayers.  I want to get stronger in my faith and in my emotional state.  I understand the chemo can make some people this way, not to mention the "instant menopausal state" I've been thrown into because of my surgery.  It really helps to have something productive to do during the day, and on those days I do much better.  Watching TV or NetFlix movies isn't really that helpful -- just kind of mind-numbing and a temporary distraction.  It's hard when your energy level is so low, but it seems to be getting better, so I should be able to find more productive ways to spend my time.  Getting out of the house helps a lot, but sometimes I am at the mercy of my digestive system.  Let me just say short outings are the best for now.  It was a true blessing to be able to go to the play last night, it being so far away from home.  :D

I thank God for all my blessings -- they are so numerous!  He is so good to me.   I especially thank him for all of you, and for all the prayers going up on my behalf.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, my friends.  Love, love, love you all!

Caroline  ♥

One Day At A Time

Thank you, all of you, for the sweet comments.  I really like my new wig, too.  Am having to get used to it since it fits pretty snug.  (That's a good thing, huh?!)  After a while, my head feels a little sore.  So I am breaking it in a little at a time.  Probably won't wear it to chemo tomorrow, though.

Yep!  It's that time again.  These last 3 weeks went by quickly I think, and tomorrow will be the start of Round 3.  Please be praying for me!  From past experience, I should feel okay tomorrow and probably the next day, but then the third day is when I feel like a horrible flu-type illness is affecting every bone of my body, along with the nausea.  I know I will need God's help and comfort.

I am the type of person who likes to know exactly what's going to happen.  But this is so unpredictable.  Round 2 was better than Round 1.  What will Round 3 be like?  Trying not to dwell on it (too much), since there's not much I can do, right?  Just need to trust God with each Round, and with each Day of each Round.  One day at a time.  Oh, yeah, and Expect Great Things!  I thank you all for your love and prayers.  You hold a special place in my heart, and I thank the Lord for each of you!  <3

A New "Do"

Hey, guys!  Look what I picked up at the "Look Good, Feel Better" meeting Caley and I went to this morning.  I tried a couple of blonde wigs -- didn't look too bad, but this one seemed the best.  Also got a bag of free makeup!  Am wearing a little of the makeup in the picture.  So what do you think?

Little Monster Blessings

Well, here they are.  Our little monsters!  Last blog I said I had some more blessings

to mention, but had to wait.  That was because Naomi didn't know about hers yet and so I wanted to wait until she returned home from staying at a friend's house.  And then life got a little busy and we finally got a picture taken of the monsters, so now I'm finally posting.  :-)

My wonderful neighbor Carlene made these little monsters for us.  They are "cancer monsters" or "love monsters" to help comfort us through this cancer journey.  Isn't that the sweetest thing!  Cancer affects the whole family, so Carlene made each of us a monster.  She said we could punch them or squeeze them or love them or whatever we wanted.  We're deciding to call them "love monsters," but my monster is the green one with the long arms, and when I swing his arms around and around I think of him beating up those cancer cells!  Steve's monster is the one to the left of mine, with the triangle face.  Caley's is the heart-shaped one, and Naomi's is the one with stripes -- because Carlene and her family have often noted that Naomi is always wearing stripes!

Just had to share.  :-)   Thank you, Carlene, for your sweet thoughtfulness towards us!

Oh, another blessing is that I finally went out to Naomi's volleyball game the other evening.  My friend Diann came out to visit and then took Caley and I into town.   She knows I haven't been getting out of the house much.  It was fun -- so good to see Naomi and her teammates play.  They played the toughest team and did well, but lost.  I'm proud for how well they played!  I did okay being out, but it was a little hard being out later than usual.  I tend to go to bed a bit early since sometimes I wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. and can't fall back asleep.  Often around 7 or 8 p.m. I am very sleepy, and sometimes if I can I'm asleep by 8 or 9 p.m.  (Don't like being awake in the early morning when everyone else is asleep, so am hoping I can get past this little issue.  Wish I could take daytime naps, but have never been very good at that.)  Anyway, I had a little trouble unwinding after we got home from the game, so went to bed a little later than usual.  I'm so glad I went though; it was good to see a few friends I hadn't seen in a while.  Thanks, Diann, for encouraging me and helping me to go.

God is so good to me, and even though I have rough times, I know He is with me.  I hope all of you are feeling blessed also, and feeling God's love for you.  He does love you, and so do I!

Caroline